Panama City, Bay County, Florida
Friday, July 11, 2014
By: Kevin Earl Wood, Email: allunited@bellsouth.net
I’m the big 60 today on 7/11, a birthday that has been lucky for me so far and I feel like a cave man – yeah the Stone Age! I’ m kinda like a birthday candle – I’m burning out!
I’m gonna go to our local sea food buffet in Panama City at Chow Time as a treat tonight and have some steamed clams, crab, oysters and boiled shrimp and just SHELLabrate! I’ve got a friend who raises rabbits whose going with me and we’re gonna play “Musical Hares”! Another friend who carves headstones is bringing a “Marble” cake! I have another friend that raises lab rats that’s coming and she’s bringing some homemade”Mice” Cream! Another friend raises exotic birds and is bringing me a birthday “Pheasant.”
My cat Cuddles Furball is coming too who doesn’t eat cake but I got her a special treat that I ordered from a CAT-alougue! (YES! Like old, single folk who live alone I have a real cat who’s my best friend and that really is her registered name at the vet!)
These are all great friends who thoughtfully remembered my birthday, but not my age! We’re gonna make like Moby Dick and have a whale of a party.
After the party I’m going to go to an antique auction at the lady’s club and see if someone will bid on me! I had one friend who gave me a gift comb as a joke for my near bald head – but I’ll never “part” with it! That reminds me, do you know why they put candles on the top of birthday cakes? Because stupid, it’s easier than putting them on the bottom!!!
Last year I got heartburn after eating my birthday cake, but this year I’ll remember to take the candles off first!
Even my computer remembered my birthday but said I needed an upgrade and needed to have my sex drive reformatted! I’m not only sleeping alone at this point in my life, even my teeth won’t join me in bed! At my age “getting a little action” means my laxative worked! “Getting Lucky” for me means finding my car in the WalMart parking lot!
Last week someone asked me when my birthday was and I told him, duh…its every year stupid! I like birthdays but having too many can just kill you! At least at my age now I can buy clothes and not worry about wearing them out before I wear out!
Some friends from church made me a cake – angel food! I’m starting to hear strange things like our American Flag at the church telling me to have a “flappy” birthday and a tree next to the flag pole told me to have a “sappy” one but with friends at my church like I have that are my family, I can only have a “happy” one!!!
However, one friend told me that the best present I could get this year is a sense of humor! Thanks and credit to GOOGLE for helping me write my birthday story!!! God bless you all until next year!